Sub-Prime Merlene
(Merlene waits.)
CINDY (On the phone):
Mortgage Makeover, Good Morning. He's not available. Please
hold for voicemail, darling.
MERLENE:
Excuse me.
CINDY:
Mondo Mortgage, Good Morning. She's not available, honey.
Hold for voicemail.
(Phone rings again.)
CINDY:
Loan Luau, Good Morning.
MERLENE:
I've been waiting here for an hour.
CINDY:
Excuse me? I have to answer the phone? Do you people
understand what responsibility is?
MERLENE:
You lied to me about my mortgage. You doubled my monthly
payment. I have to talk to somebody.
CINDY:
Call the number on your bill, darling. The number on your bill.
MERLENE:
You're the number on my bill. You don't answer your phone.
CINDY:
How can I answer the phone when you won't give me a minute's
peace. You're all over me, sweetheart. Has that dawned on
you?
MERLENE:
I'm paying for a service.
CINDY:
What company is your mortgage from?
MERLENE:
Borrower's Bayou.
CINDY:
They're not in business anymore.
MERLENE:
Why?
CINDY:
Who knows? The whole Katrina, New Orleans, flooding thing, it
left a bad taste. Nobody was calling anymore.
MERLENE:
They're not calling because you don't answer your phone.
CINDY:
Sweetheart, I refer you to our previous conversation.
MERLENE:
I'm writing checks to Borrower's Bayou. Where is that money going?
CINDY:
All the Borrower's Bayou and Debt Is My Pet loans were taken over by
Mama Mia What a Mortgage.
MERLENE:
Where's their office?
CINDY:
Here. Where do you think?
MERLENE:
Then I have to talk to you.
CINDY:
You expect me to talk to just anyone who walks in off the street?
That is not how business is done, darling. Do you have an
appointment?
MERLENE:
An appointment with who?
CINDY:
My point exactly. Have a mint, enjoy your day, you know where the
door is.
MERLENE:
I'm not leaving. I want to talk to my loan officer.
CINDY:
Your loan officer? What makes you think you have a loan officer?
MERLENE:
Gary. Where is Gary?
CINDY:
There's no Gary here. Do I look like a Gary?
MERLENE:
Where is Gary?
CINDY:
I am not Gary. Stop calling me Gary. My name is Cindy.
MERLENE:
Merlene.
CINDY:
A pleasure, darling.
MERLENE:
Gary told me my rate wouldn't go up. He said I had nothing to
worry about.
CINDY:
So who told you to worry?
MERLENE:
I can't afford $2,300 a month. He told me there would be no extra
fees. I had to pay a bank lawyer's fee, an appraiser's fee, a
broker's fee, a salesman's fee, an attendance fee, and a title fee.
CINDY:
Did you have a problem with your title?
MERLENE:
No.
CINDY:
Well that's because you paid the title fee. So everything turned
out fine.
MERLENE:
$8,000 in fees was not fine. He said if I took the mortgage from
him, he would give me a free garden for my new house.
CINDY:
So what's wrong with a free garden?
MERLENE:
He sent me a packet of seeds.
CINDY:
No deal is perfect.
MERLENE:
There's supposed to be a new federal program for relief from mortgage
payment increases.
CINDY:
That's only if your increase didn't already happen, which yours
did. And only if you were never late with a payment, which from
the looks of you, I'm sure you were. And only if you can prove
that you can't afford the new payment.
MERLENE:
I can't afford $2,300 a month.
CINDY:
Darling, I'm trying to help you. How much money are you earning
now?
MERLENE:
$2,350 a month.
CINDY:
So you have enough. What's the problem?
MERLENE:
I need my introductory rate frozen. That was what you promised
and that's what I need.
(CINDY answers the phone.)
CINDY:
What……No…..Yes…..No…..Yes…..No.
(Hangs up. To Merlene.)
CINDY:
Look, I wasn't going to say this, but Gary was fired. He was let
go.
MERLENE:
Well I'm not surprised, but I still need…..
CINDY:
Three quarters of the division was let go. I'm the only one left
in this office. They're talking about closing it.
(CINDY starts to cry.)
MERLENE:
That has nothing to do with me.
CINDY:
You're the only one I can appeal to, Merlene. Can I call you
Merlene? The regional office, they won't listen to me. Who
else can I talk to about this.
MERLENE:
What are you…..
CINDY:
This is the only kind of work I know. Nobody else is
hiring. I can't go back to them and tell them I lost another loan.
MERLENE:
I can't make these payments.
CINDY:
I know it's hard. It's hard for all of us. But if I put in
your freeze application, I lose my job. Do you want me to lose my
job?
MERLENE:
No, I don't want you to lose your job.
CINDY:
Well this is the situation. You have children?
MERLENE:
I have one.
CINDY:
Yuh, well I have three. You want me to lose my job?
MERLENE:
Who is telling you to say that?
(Phone rings and CINDY picks it up.)
CINDY:
What. No. I said No. Okay.
(To Merlene.)
CINDY:
Okay, we'll come down to $2,100 if you make yourself available.
MERLENE:
Available for what?
CINDY:
Just sign here.
MERLENE:
I can't do $2,100.
CINDY:
Alright, $1,900 for two years. Absolutely no increases for two
years.
MERLENE:
I can't do $1,900.
CINDY:
$1,700 for 18 months.
MERLENE:
I'm not signing anything. I can't go any higher than $1,200.
CINDY:
$1,400 if you make yourself available.
MERLENE:
I don't have time to be a prostitute, Cindy. I just don't have
time.
CINDY:
Did I say anything like that? Give me a little credit here.
$1,300. Sign here.
MERLENE:
What do I have to do?
CINDY:
We got to testify at Congressional hearings next week. We need 25
homeowners to say they weren't cheated and they got a fair adjustment
and everybody is invited to their barbecue.
MERLENE:
I have to lie under oath to get an affordable payment?
(Phone rings and CINDY picks it up.)
CINDY: What. No. No. I said No.
(To Merlene.)
CINDY:
Office is closed. You have to leave.
MERLENE: You said you could lower my rate.
CINDY: Look at me. Why you believe anything that I would tell you?