Viva Cerveza

HEATHER:
Buenos días. I'm Heather Heath with CNN, the world's best political news team. Do you have a cigarette?

EUGENIO:
Cigarillo? Sí. Cómo te llamas?

(He lights her one.)

HEATHER:
I know, so am I. It is so hot here. Muy frío, sí?

EUGENIO:
Sí. A donde va?

HEATHER:
Well, we're in San Juan because for the first time in history, the Democratic nomination for president will be decided by the Puerto Rico primary. See that camera? Do you want to be on television?

EUGENIO:
On TV? Oh sí, claro.

HEATHER:
Do you speak English?

EUGENIO:
Sí . Perfecto. Excelente.

HEATHER:
Habla inglés?

EUGENIO:
Yes. Thank you. Please. Thank you. Are we on TV now?

HEATHER:
Not yet. We're going to tape a quick interview. Just a man on the street thing. Hombre en la…..whatever. Are you ready? What's your name?

EUGENIO:
Eugenio.

HEATHER:
Is that like Eugene?

EUGENIO:
No, it's like Eugenio.

HEATHER:
Awesome.

(To the cameraman.)

Are you ready Jeremy? In five.

(To Eugenio.)

Just be cool. Naturalismo, sí?

(To the camera.)

Hi, I'm Heather Heath and we're talking about the Puerto Rico primary to Eugenio.

EUGENIO:
Eugenio.

HEATHER:
Eugenio.

EUGENIO:
Qué bueno.

HEATHER:
So how do you feel about Puerto Rico being able to choose the next president of the United States?

EUGENIO:
I feel good. How do you feel?

HEATHER:
I feel fine. Isn't it great to be here?

EUGENIO:
I am always here.

HEATHER:
Yes, of course. Aren't you excited that the Puerto Rico primary will determine the nomination for president?

EUGENIO:
I am always excited. I am an exciting person.

HEATHER:
I see. Will you be voting in the primary?

EUGENIO:
No, I don't vote. Puerto Ricans aren't allowed to vote in U.S. elections.

HEATHER:
Yes, that's normally true. But for the Democratic nomination, you're allowed to vote. Aren't you a Democrat? Don't you like high taxes?

EUGENIO:
No, I am a Catholic. We like bingo.

HEATHER:
Who will you be voting for?

EUGENIO:
I'd vote for you, sweetheart.

HEATHER:
Do you like Hillary?

EUGENIO:
Oh sure, I like Hillary. But I don't like how she does all that stuff with drugs and doesn't take care of her kids and goes out without underwear and everything.

HEATHER:
No, Hillary doesn't do that. You're thinking of Brittany.

EUGENIO:
Sí, sí, Brittany Clinton. The wife of the president. El Bush.

HEATHER:
Yes, that's right. What about Obama? Do you like Obama?

EUGENIO:
Oh sure, he's the one who says Sí se puede. I like him.

HEATHER:
What does that mean?

EUGENIO:
It means I like him. I…like…him. Ingles, qué no?

HEATHER:
Isn't that what those illegal Mexican immigrants say?

EUGENIO:
Tal vez. You should come with me. You like Medalla? Cerveza? You like to dance?

HEATHER:
I think we may have to cut this short.

EUGENIO:
You want to come to my house? I got Wi-Fi.

HEATHER:
From Old San Juan, this is Heather Heath, CNN.

EUGENIO:
You like to dance? You like salsa?

HEATHER:
Well, it depends on how it's cooked.