Isabelle in Romania

ISABELLE:
Bonnie, what are you doing here.

BONNIE:
Well that's a nice way to say hello to a friend.

ISABELLE:
My friends don't come to my job to arrest me.

BONNIE:
Well your apartment is too scuzzy to arrest anyone in.

ISABELLE:
Are you telling me that spook shop you work for broke into my apartment?

BONNIE:
The Department of Homeland Security is not a spook shop and we didn't break into your apartment because we didn't have to. We have access procedures.

ISABELLE:
That's a great relief. I was wondering who stole my vibrator.

BONNIE:
Oh, did Chad buy it for you?

ISABELLE:
Are you still on that? I haven't seen Chad in years and he broke up with you six months before I went out with him, which was only once.

BONNIE:
Yes, but it was the best round of miniature golf you ever played, wasn't it.

ISABELLE:
What are you doing in my bookstore? You don't read.

BONNIE:
I read factual material.

ISABELLE:
You read the care label on your underwear. I practically lost my job here because of you. There's nobody buying Islamic books here anymore and you can stop looking.

BONNIE:
This isn't about the bookstore. It has nothing to do with Islamic books. Your name came up in the Human Rights International list of connections. You're connected with HRI.

ISABELLE:
I'm an unpaid intern at HRI.

BONNIE:
You are a supporter of a non-sanctioned organization.

ISABELLE:
I'm a volunteer. Talk to the executive director. What are you talking to me for?

BONNIE:
Because you're the only one whose name came up on both lists.

ISABELLE:
What lists?

BONNIE:
The HRI list and the list of people who might have sold Islamic books.

ISABELLE:
Do you have a warrant Bonnie? Buy a book or go screw yourself.

BONNIE:
You can't talk to me like that, Isabelle. You may have Chad, but I have a badge.

ISABELLE:
I don't have Chad. I never had Chad. What do you want from me?

BONNIE:
How did HRI find out about the secret CIA black site prison in a country widely believed to be Romania?

ISABELLE:
It was all over the Washington Post.

BONNIE:
And you thought I don't read. Well ho, ho, ho, Isabelle. It was on the HRI web site a week before the Post got it. How did you find out?

ISABELLE:
I don't know. I wasn't involved. I work in the Latin American department.

BONNIE:
Your Islamic reader tipped you off, didn't he.

ISABELLE:
I don't have an Islamic reader.

BONNIE:
There was no other way for you to know. We deliberately located that site in a remote section on the Romania-Poland border.

ISABELLE:
Poland doesn't have a border with Romania.

BONNIE:
Exactly. That's what makes it so remote. And you'd better tell us how you found out about it.

ISABELLE:
Are you kidding? A CIA prison? Everyone in town has seen it. It's on the Gray Lines tour of Bucharest. You just follow the Dominos delivery van and you get there every time. Did you really think you could keep an American prison in Eastern Europe a secret?

BONNIE:
We are not accepting that. You know you don't have to be a terrorist for us to lock you up, Isabelle. If we say you're an enemy combatant, you're an enemy combatant.

ISABELLE:
You're the enemy combatant. You're the criminal. This is illegal. Why would you build an American prison outside the United States?

BONNIE:
Not that it's any of your business, but there are certain American laws which would have inhibited effective interrogations.

ISABELLE:
Like the law against murder?

BONNIE:
No, not the law against murder.

ISABELLE:
Then what?

BONNIE:
Other laws. The smoking ban. Did you ever try to run a prison without cigarettes? Ask James Cagney. It can't be done.

ISABELLE:
I didn't leak the story and I'm not talking to you anymore. My shift is over, I'm leaving, and you'd better not follow me.

BONNIE:
You can't just leave, Isabelle. I have an incomplete data sheet. What am I supposed to do here?

ISABELLE:
Pull down your pants and call Chad.