Kaplowitz and the Brownies

KAPLOWITZ:
Hi, it's Kaplowitz.

MOTHER:
Kaplowitz who.

KAPLOWITZ:
Jon Kaplowitz.From Parents Against Toxics?I sent you a letter?

MOTHER:
I don't get letters.I don't have time for letters.

KAPLOWITZ:
Is this Barbara Lipwinter?

MOTHER:
No it is not.This is Barb Lipwinter.If you knew me, you would know that my name is Barb.

KAPLOWITZ:
I apologize. This is Kaplowitz.I sent you the letter about our organization, Parents Against Toxics?

MOTHER:
Who's Toxics?I don't know him.

KAPLOWITZ:
We're working to defend kids against deadly toxics put in the air and water by corporate polluters.

MOTHER:
You have the wrong number.I'm not a corporate polluter.

KAPLOWITZ:
No, of course not.That's why I'm calling you.

MOTHER:
Why are you calling me?

KAPLOWITZ:
One of our members, Judy Frost, said you were the Brownie leader for Troop 101?

MOTHER:
Judy who?

KAPLOWITZ:
Judy Frost.

MOTHER:
I don't know her.

KAPLOWITZ:
But you're the Brownie leader, right?

MOTHER:
Yes, but that's neither here nor there.

KAPLOWITZ:
Well she's one of the Brownie mothers.

MOTHER:
And I'm supposed to keep track of all the Brownie mothers?How am I supposed to know all the mothers?They don't even call back when I call them, some of them.It's terrible.

KAPLOWITZ:
I'm sure it is.What I was hoping to do was.....

MOTHER:
They're not all terrible, don't get me wrong.

KAPLOWITZ:
No, I'm sure they're not.

MOTHER:
But some of them.....

KAPLOWITZ:
I'm sure.But the reason I called.....

MOTHER:
I don't remember Judy Frost.

KAPLOWITZ:
Maybe it was a long time ago that you met her.The reason I called.....

MOTHER:
You're sure it wasn't Judy Saccamano?

KAPLOWITZ:
Yes, I'm sure.You know a lot of the parents I've talked to are really angry about.....

MOTHER:
She's the worst, that Judy Saccamano.That little girl of hers is the anti-Christ.

KAPLOWITZ:
I'm sure.

MOTHER:
Vicious. Vicious little girl.Gives a Tic Tac to one of the other little girls, and then she won't give a Tic Tac to my little girl.

KAPLOWITZ:
I'm sorry to hear that.

MOTHER:
Vicious, that little girl.And the apple doesn't fall that far from the fruit store, you know what I mean?

KAPLOWITZ:
I think so.You know the percentage of kids with asthma and breathing disorders in this county is 60% higher than the national average?And it started to go up as soon as they allowed all that truck traffic on the parkway.

MOTHER:
That's terrible.

KAPLOWITZ:
Yes. It is terrible.And a lot of parents are really angry about it.

MOTHER:
I don't blame them.That's terrible.I've been seeing that, all these kids with asthma.I said to my husband, I said look at all these kids with asthma.You're giving them birthday cake, and they start coughing.It's terrible.You didn't use to see that so much. And you know what my husband said?

KAPLOWITZ:
What did he say?

MOTHER:
I don't remember.But it's terrible, that asthma.

KAPLOWITZ:
Well that's true.And there are a lot more hospitalizations for asthma than there were even five years ago.We have a lot more ozone and particle pollution in the air and all our studies show that this comes from truck and trailer exhaust and it shortens the life of people with breathing disorders.

MOTHER:
That's terrible.

KAPLOWITZ:
It is terrible.But Parents Against Toxics has a plan to limit truck traffic and push the state department of transportation to promote shipping goods through electric rail and by barge.

MOTHER:
That's terrible, that asthma.They have to use those inhalers?

KAPLOWITZ:
Yes they do.It's a long-term chronic condition, it doesn't go away. And air pollution can make it a lot worse.

MOTHER:
How did you get my name?

KAPLOWITZ:
From Judy Frost, remember?

MOTHER:
I don't think I know her.

KAPLOWITZ:
It doesn't matter whether you know her!What's the difference whether or not you know her?

MOTHER:
Well you don't have to raise your voice with me.

KAPLOWITZ:
I'm sorry, I apologize.I didn't mean to.I'm just...we're all concerned about this.

MOTHER:
I'd like to help you out, I'm sure you're a nice young man, but there's really nothing I can do.

KAPLOWITZ:
Actually, there is.I'd like the chance to talk to all the Brownie mothers the next time you have a meeting?All I would need is about 15 minutes just to talk to them about the issue and ask them to testify at the county council hearings coming up next month?

MOTHER:
Does she have red hair?

KAPLOWITZ:
Who?

MOTHER:
Judy Frost.

KAPLOWITZ:
I don't know, I don't remember....

MOTHER:
She's the one who's running this whole thing and you don't know what color hair she has?

KAPLOWITZ:
She's not the one running the whole thing, she's just one of the parents on the steering committee.And I asked her who works with the Brownies. And she said....

MOTHER:
She's divorced, right?

KAPLOWITZ:
You're asking me if she's divorced?

MOTHER:
You don't know if she has red hair and you don't know if she's divorced?How did you get this job?

KAPLOWITZ:
All I'm asking is if you would be willing to.....

MOTHER:
Now I remember her.Sure.Judy Frost.Very nice girl. She gave me a Tic Tac once.You know her?

KAPLOWITZ:
Yes, I know her.

MOTHER:
What was your name again?

KAPLOWITZ:
Kaplowitz. Jon Kaplowitz.

MOTHER:
So what do you me to do?

KAPLOWITZ:
I just want to talk for 15 minutes at your next parents meeting.

MOTHER:
Oh well yuh, sure.Why didn't you say so?