Sean's Budget

HOST:
Welcome back to the Sean Hannity Show. Sean Hannity is away. I'm Don Vanity.


BART:
Where's Sean?


HOST:
Today we have Bart Burtman from the American Enterprise Institute to set us straight about Congress's budget reconciliation process.


BART:
Where's Sean?


HOST:
Burt, this week Congress takes up the budget reconciliation process, and as usual these no-crotch Democrats think this is a bad time for a tax cut.


BART:
You said it, Sean. The spectacle of 150 liberals all in one building.....


HOST:
That's Don.


BART:
What?


HOST:
You said Sean. I'm Don. Don Vanity.


BART:
There is no Don Vanity. Where's Sean?


HOST:
He's on assignment. I'm Don.


BART:
I didn't come here to be with some nobody. I need Sean to promote my book. You think I'm in this for my health? They promised me I'd be on with Sean.


HOST:
Well I'm sorry, my name is Don.


BART:
Yuh, whatever. Just play along with me. They'll edit Sean in later.


HOST:
They will not edit Sean in later, it's a live show.


BART:
You said it, Sean. Just the thought of 200 liberals in one building makes America vomit, but they refuse to shut up.


HOST:
What's the real story, Bart?


BART:
We're facing a $300 billion deficit, Sean, because the president didn't....because the Republican Congress didn't...Well, what's the difference. The point is there's a $300 billion deficit so last spring's budget bill included a budget reconciliation process.


HOST:
Break that down for us, Bart.


BART:
Well, Sean, it means that now each of the big Congressional committees has to find at least $35 billion in spending cuts.


HOST:
Sounds good to me. $35 billion is practically $300 billion.


BART:
They're almost the same number. But these vegan-ass Democrats are using this as an excuse to say no more tax cuts.


HOST:
As if any time wasn't the right time for a tax cut.


BART:
Exactly, Sean. When the economy is in the sewer, like it was before President Bush took office, it's important to cut taxes for corporations and the wealthy so they invest their extra money and create jobs.


HOST:
Of course. Even though they have every right use that extra money to buy real estate or white wine.


BART:
Right. But they would never do that because rich people love this country. And when the economy is doing great, like it is now under President Bush......


HOST:
Yuh, I heard we created 11 new jobs last month.


BART:
Exactly. When it's a gangbusters economy like now, we have to get rid of the taxes on capital gains and dividends.


HOST:
Didn't we cut those in half last time?


BART:
Not good enough, Sean. We have to get rid of them completely. Why should people who make money playing the stock market have to pay taxes? It's not like they work at jobs for a living. It's totally unfair.


HOST:
So we have to have $70 billion a year in tax cuts for the wealthy.


BART:
It's imperative, Sean.


HOST:
And why do we have to cut $35 billion from food stamps, Medicaid, student loans, and housing assistance?


BART:
To balance the budget, Sean. Obviously.


HOST:
But isn't $70 billion more than $35 billion?


BART:
Maybe.


HOST:
So if you cut taxes by $70 billion and spending by $35 billion, then the deficit will get worse, not better.


BART:
Sean, you are a total idiot, you know that? You're an idiot, you're a butt hole, and you're a closet Democrat.


HOST:
Okay, boys, did you get that last bit on tape? Send it to Sean. So long, Bart.