Short Circuit City

MARIANNA:
What are you, soft?


NORMAN:
No, Marianna, of course not.


MARIANNA:
I think you ate soup today, didn't you. You ate soup.


NORMAN:
I did not.


MARIANNA:
We do not eat soup at this agency, you understand? We got the Circuit City account because we are tough, we are bastards, we take no prisoners. Is that clear?


NORMAN:
Yes, Marianna, absolutely. But Circuit City just laid off 3,400 of its employees and the company is immediately replacing them with lower paid workers, no health benefits, no seniority, and no more free batteries.


MARIANNA:
Exactly. What better time to blow your horn and get people into the store? They're proud of what they've done. They want customers to know about it.


NORMAN:
Okay, but if we produce a spot that shows we're insensitive to people who just lost their jobs, doesn't that make us look like, I don't know, like bad, greedy people?


MARIANNA:
Oh my heart bleeds. Do you think I got where I am today by being sensitive?


NORMAN:
Yes, Marianna. I mean no, Marianna.


MARIANNA:
Circuit City hired us. Circuit City is our partner. Circuit City is beyond greed.


NORMAN:
I'm sure way beyond. But why would they want customers to know that they fired all those people who were working hard and who didn't do anything wrong?


MARIANNA:
This isn't about right and wrong, Norman. This is about technology. I said this is about technology.


NORMAN:
Technology, yes. Of course. What else would it be about?


MARIANNA:
Exactly. Do we really think that a sales clerk who can explain the difference between asynchronous communication and data packet recovery is worth $11.50 an hour?


NORMAN:
They wouldn't be?


MARIANNA:
No. What are you, drunk? Of course not. They're taking us for a ride. Who makes that kind of money?


NORMAN:
Well isn't it hard to learn all that stuff?


MARIANNA:
Oh please, it's in a book. It's like nuclear physics, constitutional law, brain surgery. You get the book and you look it up. How hard could it be?


NORMAN:
I guess not hard at all.


MARIANNA:
It's cake. What is there to know about a laptop computer, really. It's a computer. You put it on your lap. You take it off your lap and it still works! It's magic. It's beautiful. Who cares!


NORMAN:
Nobody.


MARIANNA:
Nobody. Who would you rather buy your television set from? Some arrogant over-educated snob, or a desperate, powerless shmo who's been beaten down to $6.25 an hour?


NORMAN:
The shmo.


MARIANNA:
Exactly.


NORMAN:
But don't you think customers coming into the store expect that the help will know more about electronics stuff than they do?


MARIANNA:
Oh Norman, they've walked into a mall. They don't expect to meet someone who's smart. Customers have given up. They've abandoned all hope. If they find a clerk who knows how to open a box, they're ecstatic.

(The phone rings.)



MARIANNA:
What do you think they expect, knowledge? Get over it.

(Still ringing.)


MARIANNA:
Am I paying you to watch me answer it?


NORMAN:
Sorry.

(He picks it up.)

NORMAN:
Public Relations by Marianna. One second, I'll see if she's here. Steve from Circuit City?


MARIANNA:
No, I have to be busy. I can't let him get me on the first try. I'm in conference. I'm in Kansas City. I'm in traction.


NORMAN:
Marianna is away from her desk. Can I take a message? Oh. Really. Well. Isn't there any chance you might change your….I see. Thank you.


MARIANNA:
What did he say? What did he say?


NORMAN:
They cancelled our contract. They found a PR firm in India that will do it for half the price.