Radical Gags weekly
News You Can't Use by Jerry Polner
Contact
Trunk
Multimedia
Bio
Other Writing

When Our Ship Comes In

TERRY:
You don't understand, Charley. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender.


CHARLEY:
You were never gonna be a prize-fighter, Terry. You’re too honest. That’s why I got you this great longshoreman job on the waterfront. You’re in the union now.


FATHER BARRY:
Open your eyes, boys. This isn’t an honest union and it’s not an honest waterfront. It’s run by Dubai Ports World, part of the government of the United Arab Emirates.


TERRY:
Isn’t that like the AFL-CIO?


FATHER BARRY:
Not even close. It’s the mob.


CHARLEY:
You mean the racketeers? The gangsters?


FATHER BARRY:
They’re racketeers, but not the kind you mean. Their racket is world trade, what they call “free” trade. Everything is for sale. Everything goes to the highest bidder.


CHARLEY:
So what’s wrong with that, Father? You ain’t got the scratch, you got no business being in business.


FATHER BARRY:
Meaning that you got nothing to say about how you make a living? No right to bargain for your own job? And the people who live in the city have nothing to say about who runs their waterfront and who keeps it safe?


CHARLEY:
Yuh, what’s wrong with that?


FATHER BARRY:
Oh boys, the devil is unzipping your pants now.


TERRY:
Who’s to say, Father. I can’t worry about the other stinkin’ men or the stinkin’ city or the whole stinkin’ world. I got to worry about my own stinkin’ life here.


FATHER BARRY:
What’s your life going to be worth when United Arab Emirates gets to take away your job just because they’re cronies of the Bush family’s favorite investment company?


TERRY:
Are you calling the president a racketeer?


FATHER BARRY:
Of course not.


CHARLEY:
I didn’t think you was, Father.


FATHER BARRY:
He’s not important enough to be a racketeer. But he’ll do anything to keep the racketeers’ business. These pirates have a piece of everything, boys. They decide what gets produced where and what they’ll pay for it. You ask for a decent wage and they’ll take the work away from you and give it to someone else.


CHARLEY:
That’s just crazy talk. You take what they give you and you’ll do fine.


FATHER BARRY:
Didn’t work out that way for Doyle or for Dugan, did it Charley? The mob killed them both, just like they’re going to kill you before the end of this movie.


CHARLEY:
Who told you that?


FATHER BARRY:
It’s your hands making the product, your body shipping the product, your money paying for the product, but you don’t get to set the price. Now is that fair boys?


CHARLEY:
No, I’m serious, who told you that?


TERRY:
Don’t seem right.


CHARLEY:
It isn’t right. I got a contract.


TERRY:
I mean the system that Father is talking about.


FATHER BARRY:
It isn’t close to being right. It’s plain old wrong. That’s why you have to fight it.


TERRY:
Me against the mob? Sounds like a long shot to me, Father.


FATHER BARRY:
Maybe. But it’s the only shot you’ve got.


CHARLEY:
Don’t do it, Terry. We’re your friends.


FATHER BARRY:
They’re not your friends, Terry. They’re going to kill your own brother any minute now.


CHARLEY:
Once again, Father, I have to question your information.


FATHER BARRY:
Stand up for us, Terry. Show these men what you’re made of.


TERRY:
Well....Okay, I’ll do it. But only if I get the girl.