I Just Work Here

WAL-MART MANAGER:
Now the federal agents are going to be here in a few minutes to ask you some questions, José, and we want to be sure you don’t say anything that causes any more trouble.

JOSÉ:
I don’t cause no trouble, man. You got my last paycheck?

WMM:
In a minute. Let’s practice answering questions. What is your first name?

JOSÉ:
José.

WMM:
Very good.

JOSÉ:
Yuh, I’m good at that one.

WMM:
And what is your last name?

JOSÉ:
José.

WMM:
You’re name is José José?

JOSÉ:
You tell me, dude. You’re the one who made up a name for me.

WMM:
I did not make up a name for you, and it’s very important that you not say that to the federal agents. Is that clear?

JOSÉ:
You said when I came to Wal-Mart to work that I would be better off if I used a name that wasn’t mine so I couldn’t be traced here.

WMM:
Okay, first of all, I never said that, and if I did, never mind, that is not the point. Am I clear?

JOSÉ:
So do I get my last check? I been in here every night cleaning the store, am I going to get my last check or not?

WMM:
I don’t have your check, I am not your employer. Now let’s get on with it. Question 1. What is your occupation?

JOSÉ:
I clean the store.

WMM:
Yes, but what does it mean to you to be cleaning the store?

JOSÉ:
It means that the store is dirty and I clean it.

WMM:
Okay, I’m going to cross out the part of your answer that said the store is dirty, because I’m sure that’s not what you meant. I’ll just leave in the part that says you cleaned it.

JOSÉ:
I cleaned it. I worked for Wal-Mart cleaning the store.

WMM:
You did not work for Wal-Mart. I explained this to you many times. You worked for Midnight Enterprises, an independent firm not owned or operated by Wal-Mart, with whom Wal-Mart entered into a contract to maintain the physical facilities.

JOSÉ:
Yuh, I cleaned the physical facilities.

WMM:
Exactly.

JOSÉ:
For Wal-Mart.

WMM:
Not for Wal-Mart, God damn it. Not for Wal-Mart. You didn’t work for Wal-Mart. You never worked for Wal-Mart.

JOSÉ:
Who did I work for?

WMM:
You worked for Midnight Enterprises.

JOSÉ:
Who’s that?

WMM:
The name is right on your paycheck. Didn’t you ever look at it?

JOSÉ:
No, I just looked at the amount every time, cause I just couldn’t believe it.

WMM:
Well I’m sorry you weren’t happy with your paycheck, but you never worked for me and the size of your paycheck was completely out of my control. How did you get your job working for Midnight Enterprises?

JOSÉ:
You hired me.

WMM:
I did not hire you. Midnight Enterprises hired you.

JOSÉ:
So who are they?

WMM:
They are an independent... never mind. Just remember that your check is not from Wal-Mart and Wal-Mart never paid you.

JOSÉ:
But I worked here.

WMM:
Midnight Enterprises assigned you to work here.

JOSÉ:
But I worked here. I cleaned here.

WMM:
Yes, let’s just stick to that. You cleaned here. Just say that and don’t say anything else.

JOSÉ:
I can’t say anything else? Ever?

WMM:
Never. You are not allowed to say anything else ever again.

JOSÉ:
This is America.

WMM:
No. No, no, no. THIS IS WAL-MART!