Good Morning, Mr. Frist

Senator Frist:
And I just want to say that I’m very proud that Tennessee continued to watch Marcus Welby, MD, even after it stopped being the number one show in the 1970s. And if the rest of the country had taken our lead, it would still be on television now, and our nation wouldn’t have had all the problems we’ve had since then.


Reporter Guy:
What problems are those, Senator?


Frist:
Well, I don’t want to go into all the details now. This conference is supposed to be a light-hearted gathering to honor the grandchildren of the creators of Marcus Welby, and I don’t want to spoil your fun here.


Welby Fan:
That’s okay, Senator. Tell us what’s on your mind.


Frist:
Well, for one thing, Dr. Welby never went blathering on and on about national health insurance, as if that would’ve done a bit of good. If you got a cold, or cancer, or whatever it was, he’d fix you up and no one gave a damn how it got paid for.


Welby Fan:
But what about the people who couldn’t afford his fees?


Frist:
Nobody could afford his fees. Which guaranteed that he treated everybody equally. Let the insurance company pay for it, and stop worrying about it.


Reporter Guy:
What if someone doesn’t have health insurance?


Frist:
You see that? There you go again, talking about the whole scandal with Hospital Corporation of America, the company my father and my brother started. I had nothing to do with that, those Medicare overcharges were not my doing, and that $1.5 billion in penalties they had to pay was their business, not mine. And I’m tired of you asking about it.


Reporter Guy:
But shouldn’t people be able to afford to buy prescription drugs?


Frist:
Of course. Otherwise, they’ll get non-prescription drugs, and then where will we be. All we have to do is follow the Republican plan for giving taxpayer money to the health insurance companies so they can include prescription drugs in their plans and then everything will be fine.


Reporter Guy:
But how will seniors be able to afford the higher rates?


Frist:
Hey, did I tell them to get old? And another thing.....