The Hills Have Eyes

JOEY 1:
Is this Joey?


JOEY 2:
Who wants to know?


JOEY 1:
This is Joey.


JOEY 2:
Yeah, Joey. This is Joey. What's the buzz.


JOEY 1:
How come you don't call? We got to do the details on this house of prostitution we're building at the corner of 23rd and Rebuke.


JOEY 2:
Hold it, hold it, hold it. That was not a real location.


JOEY 1:
That's what you told me last week when we were....


JOEY 2:
I didn't tell you nothing last week. We may not be alone.


JOEY 1:
You mean you got another partner?


JOEY 2:
I didn't say that.


JOEY 1:
You taking a shower with somebody?


JOEY 2:
That's not what I said. We got ourselves a new friend. What you call the uhh...the ASN.


JOEY 1:
The ASN. Oh yuh, I get you. The ASN.


JOEY 2:
On account of us being terrorists and all.


JOEY 1:
Sure, sure, I get you now. Yuh, we're definitely what you call terrorists. I ate a falafel on my way over here.


JOEY 2:
Yuh, I'm eating one now.


JOEY 1:
I'm a total terrorist nut case.


JOEY 2:
Yuh, I would've blown myself up years ago, but I'm too stupid.


JOEY 1:
Me too. I was all set to blow myself up. I'm just a lazy son of a bitch and I never got around to it.


JOEY 2:
Okay. So first of all, we are not doing any terrorism stuff or anything else at the corner of 23rd and Rebuke.


JOEY 1:
Absolutely not.


JOEY 2:
We've specifically ruled out that location. We're staying the hell away from there. Because what would a pair of terrorists want with a big old house with 23 bedrooms?


JOEY 1:
Not even worth blowing up.


JOEY 2:
Exactly. So about that missile silo. We've now decided that we don't want to go after the green one, we want to go after the yellow one.


JOEY 1:
The yellow one.


JOEY 2:
Exactly. Because we know where they're hiding it.


JOEY 1:
Yeah, we know. And there's no point in me even saying where.


JOEY 2:
Absolutely no point.


JOEY 1:
So where am I getting the money to put a down payment on the...what do you call it, the terrorist equipment we need.


JOEY 2:
It's not going to cost that much.


JOEY 1:
Joey, I am not going to put this on my Discover Card again. That is totally out of the question.


JOEY 2:
Stop worrying. I got it all taken care of. You're picking the money up from the uhh...the Syrianan guy.


JOEY 1:
The Syrianan guy?


JOEY 2:
Yuh. From the movie.


JOEY 1:
Narnia?


JOEY 2:
Not Narnia. Syriana. I told you. Syriana.


JOEY 1:
I didn't see that one.


JOEY 2:
What are you talking about? We saw it together. With those blondes. The ones we were trying to get to become terrorists with us, but they said they just wanted to be friends?


JOEY 1:
The blondes. Yeah, it's coming back to me. One of them tried to explain the movie to me, but all I could think of was...


JOEY 2:
Syriana.


JOEY 1:
Yuh, Syriana. So I'm getting the money from the George Clooney guy?


JOEY 2:
No, he's an idiot. You're getting it from the Matt Damon guy.


JOEY 1:
Where do I find him?


JOEY 2:
Location X.


JOEY 1:
And where is that?


JOEY 2:
We don't need to say.


JOEY 1:
The hell we don't. What are you talking about?


JOEY 2:
The place where we did the thing before.


JOEY 1:
Where I lost my virginity twice?


JOEY 2:
No! And don't use that language. Don't talk about any of that.


JOEY 1:
All I said was.....


JOEY 2:
It's offensive. It's totally offensive.


JOEY 1:
Joey, I don't have time for this. Where do I find the Syriana guy?


JOEY 2:
You remember where we saw Brokeback Mountain?


JOEY 1:
With the two redheads?