Let's Make(Up) News

ISABELLE:
TIPPY! TIPPY: Isabelle!

ISABELLE:
I am totally destroyed. I can't believe I'm finally seeing you. Just to be here at Wolf News and to see you. Our Tippy. Working at Wolf News. TIPPY: I am totally here, yes. And I am so hot to tell you about this position. This is going to be totally fabulous for you.

ISABELLE:
We don't hear anything from you. Fiona hasn't heard from you, Amber hasn't heard from you, nobody has heard from you. TIPPY: I know, I know, TV production is just so like heavy that you can't do anything else.

ISABELLE:
But you're a filmmaker. You were a great filmmaker in college. TIPPY: You can't like tell that to anybody here, okay? They don't want us pushing our own work.

ISABELLE:
But you do documentaries here, right? TIPPY: No, they're really not into the whole underground documentary film thing. They're into like hot news, features, reality, reality features, hot reality, it has to have reality in it.

ISABELLE:
Oh. So you do like hard-hitting investigative pieces? TIPPY: Well, no, they don't really want anything that's too, you know, political, lefty, lesby, that kind of thing. Unless it's like a Hollywood actor going to Tibet to convert his cat or something.

ISABELLE:
Really. But you wanted to talk to me about a job here? TIPPY: Yes, absatively. We need someone to be the senior production assistant for our new show, Women Who Run With the Kennedys.

ISABELLE:
You mean like women who run for office? TIPPY: No, Isabelle, Women Who Run With the Kennedys. It means women who just like the Kennedys. They collect pictures of them, hair, DNA samples, that sort of thing. Just in case.

ISABELLE:
Just in case of what? TIPPY: In case they need them for something. They just like camp outside Hyannisport in case something happens.

ISABELLE:
Do they know the Kennedys? TIPPY: Yes, virtually. You know, one of them delivered a pizza to Caroline. Two of them danced with Patrick at a wedding in Rhode Island. It was either a wedding or a bar. They're not sure which because they were drunk. But they wrote it down later.

ISABELLE:
Why would they do this? TIPPY: Isabelle, they're not doing it as a career move. They're assholes. They don't know what else to do with their lives.

ISABELLE:
Why would your network do a show about assholes? TIPPY: It's groundbreaking television. It's making money. Why else do anything?

ISABELLE:
So you're doing this just so you can save money and make your films? TIPPY: I can't make films. No one is going to pay me to make films. This is the business, Isabelle. This is what you do if you want to make it. This is a totally excellent gig for you. This is your ticket to the rave. I thought you'd be like stratospheric about this.

ISABELLE:
Well, the thing is, Tippy, I kind of wanted to do something, you know, important? How much does it pay? TIPPY: Pay? You mean.....You don't want to be an intern?